Babylonian Times

WTO to go!
Tuesday 21st May proved a noteworthy day for those involved in the global struggle against trade liberalisation. It saw a representative of the World Trade Organisation announce the dissolution of his organisation to a shocked, but supportive, audience in Sydney. He stated that the WTO would be reconstituted with human rather than business interests as its bottom line.
The shock announcement has had global repercussions, sparking debate in the Canadian Parliament, where MP John Duncan questioned ‘what impact this will have on our appeals on lumber, agriculture and other ongoing trade disputes.’ At that point, WTO headquarters in Geneva denounced the ‘representative’ as an impostor from ‘The Yes Men’, although they said they could appreciate his sense of humour. Andy Bichlbaum, who ‘represented’ the WTO in Sydney was adamant however that ‘it isn’t humour this time…We really do want to dissolve the WTO.’
The Yes Men, who describe themselves as a ‘network of impostors’, have previously represented the WTO at two international conferences (see Issue 5) and on mainstream TV, despite WTO attempts to shut down their parody site at www.gatt.org.
After overcoming their initial shock, the audience of Australian accountants reportedly expressed enthusiasm for the dissolution of the WTO, offering many suggestions as to how world trade could benefit the poor. ‘I’m as right-wing as the next fellow’ said one of the accountants ‘but it’s time we gave something back to the countries we’ve been doing so well from.’ Strange how a concept derided as crazy and unworkable when espoused by grassroots campaigners suddenly becomes acceptable when the speaker dons a grey suit and claims mainstream credentials…
Check out: www.theyesmen.org or www.gatt.org

MONEY WORSHIP
It’s an organisation worth £4,739 billion. This includes 7 per cent of the habitable surface of the planet. They say they want to concentrate on ‘socially responsible investments’ and have set up a forum specifically to deal with this hot issue in the age of globalisation. What does this group sell? Pharmaceuticals? Weapons? No. The money spinning product in question is - God. The International Interfaith Investment Group is an amalgamation of major religious organisations known collectively as 3IG. They plan to ‘find investment opportunities in areas such as renewable energy while maintaining a market return.’ It’s not quite pure-hearted charity, perhaps, but it’s a start.

ALL PAY AND NO WORK...
The Financial Times front page screams ‘Argument for Top Pay is Hooey.’ Well, we knew that, didn’t we? It tells us the justification for the grotesque wads paid to incompetent bosses (Railtrack, Vodaphone etc) is increasingly impossible to justify to a sceptical public. Well spotted. Truth is being a CEO now clearly comes under the category of unskilled labour. In the same way burger chains have ensured their employees need virtually no skill - it’s the same for Chief Executives. This explains the ease with which people like Gerald Corbett can flit from catering boss to Railtrack boss to Woolworths boss without a single day’s retraining. Doubtless the FT will soon be campaigning for CEOs to be paid the minimum wage and not a penny more...

ALL WORK NO PAY MAKES MTV A NICE PROFIT
The Guardian reports ‘though well esablished in the US internships, sometimes called vacation placements, are a new concept to most people in the UK.’ A CBI spokeswoman says they’re ‘a more structured form of work experience’. Companies regard internships as ‘extended interviews’ - very extended given some last up to a year. But let’s get down to business, what it really means for employers is ‘cost effective low risk recruitment’. Or as we used to call it - slave labour. Apparently some internships pay ‘very little, if at all’. Yet sources at MTV say the only people who can afford to work internships there are the sons and daughters of the wealthy. In other words, as is the pattern in Blair’s Britain, social mobility is becomeing harder, not easier. Because if you’re a hard up poor person, you need to work for money, not ‘the opportunity to make contacts’. That’s why you stay poor.

TELL ME WHY I DON’T LIKE MONDAY:
Ridiculing the renaming of companies is easy sport - but let’s have a go anyway. PWC Consulting (closely related to PriceWaterhouseCoopers, who are rumoured to have removed the space bars from all their office computers) would like to be known henceforth as Monday: And yes, that colon is part of the title. Actually maybe it does all make sense. Everyone knows what eventually comes out of a colon.

Stop Esso
Does this look like an SS symbol? Exxon claim it does, and are suing Greenpeace France for abusing their logo. Even PR Week think it’s a stupid idea…