Babylonian Times

The Captain Hook awards for Biopiracy 2002 awarded at the CBD Conference in The Hague
Most offensive
The US Patent and Trademark Office for granting, then rejecting and ultimately reinstating the patent on the sacred Ayahuasca medicinal plant from the Amazon.
Runner up
the University of Toledo, Ohio for patenting Ethopia's endod or soapberry, and demanding royalty payments from Ethiopian people who wish to use it.
Greediest
US-based company Pod-Ners LLC - For bringing lawsuits against farmers and small seed companies claiming that yellow beans (grown for centuries by Mexican farmers) infringe the company's monopoly patent.
Worst Excuse
Phytopharm - The company's multi-million dollar anti-obesity drug is based on the traditional knowledge of the San people of Southern Africa. When asked about sharing the benefits with the San people, Phytopharm's CEO said 'It's a really fraught problem…especially as the people who discovered the plant have disappeared'.
Awarded by the Coalition against Biopiracy. See ETC group website for more details www.etcgroup.org .

EVER BEEN 'AD?
One of the great shames about the advertising industry is that some genuinely creative minds work within it. No really. All that talent wasted on all that capitalist propaganda. It's getting worse. Here's a recent job ad for an agency called 33: 'A Career in advertising you shouldn't tell your parents about.' That sounds dodgy enough but read on - 'you will...do anything that is asked of you'. But here's the revolutionary bit - 'You see poor pay as a motivating factor encouraging you to do better.' Yes, just when you thought an industry couldn't stoop any lower. Oh Brave New Labour World.

ACCENTURE OF EVIL?
Accenture is a stupid name but in the current post-Enron circumstances probably better than its old name Arthur Andersen. Accenture are a management consultancy - those who can do, those who can't join management consultancies and sack those who can. They've done a survey and reckon insurance jobs in Britain are at risk. Why? 'Because the cost of operating call centres in India is 90% cheaper than in Britain.' Bad news for the 500,000 people employed in that sector. Still, good news for people with insurance - because obviously their premiums will soon be reduced. Won't they?

SNACK ATTACK
The BBC Website had 'US Military unveil super sandwich', and the story began ' the United States has declared war on the soggy sandwich'. (To which the response is 'why not, they've declared war on everything else?). On the surface this was a jaunty 'amusing' item about a new sandwich with a shelf life of 3 years. The point is this - not one journalist asked the question 'why is the Pentagon funding research into fast food?' Despite the admission that 'a commercial organisation was involved'. Maybe we shouldn't be surprised that the Pentagon (using taxpayer's money) is working on behalf of some snack-food corporation. After all - Bin Laden's Stealth Pretzel nearly killed poor old Dubya...

LAST WORD
A superb quote from the excellent 'Prescription Games' by Jeffrey Robinson. Robinson's book about Big Pharma tells of how aggressive drug reps are with doctors. One rep told a doctor 'this drug has great nutritional value'. The doctor was puzzled. The rep explained 'the more you prescribe - the better my family eat...'